Monday, October 28, 2013

Sweat of his brow, lift of her face

I get an email of Groupons every day. I very rarely buy anything from them, but it's worth opening up the daily email to see what advice the grumpy cat has in the Daily Engagement Module.

A lot of their offers are tangible enough - a meal, a boat trip - but many are the evanescent phantasmagoria of "beauty products". Today I got one for a "non-surgical facelift" which is a code phrase for "a bunch of creams and stuff". This Groupon reduced the price from $525 to $75, which is a bargain.

But what does it actually do, and how does it do it? I looked at the details. Among other things, it said:
Though Dr. [redacted]'s signature treatments use special technologies, much of her skincare approach is rooted in tradition. She's committed to using natural and safe ingredients, such as organic and chemical free skin care, instead of harmful chemicals such as the bottled sweat of one of pro wrestling's most-loathed villains.
I honestly can't parse that. I think there's a glaring punctuation error in it, but it's perfectly possible, I suppose, that the bottled sweat of one of wrestling's most-loathed villains is a harmful chemical. Even putting the comma in the other spot, do I really want my face "lifted" by the sweat of a wrestling villain, however loathed he may be? What is it going to achieve? Should we just assume the relevant clinical studies have been done, perhaps pitting the sweat of wrestlers' stage-girlfriends as a placebo against hero wrestlers'sweat and that of loathed wrestlers in a four-year double-blind study?

Yes, let's assume the latter.


Laser East Med Spa said... can be perfectly possible...
Non Surgical Face Lift Long Island

Peromyscus said...

I read that as you saying it's perfectly possible that wrestlers' sweat is a harmful chemical. That fits in with my own biases so you can have your ad remain! Have a nice day.

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