Saturday, January 19, 2008

Honing Our Sithly Hate of The Creator.

The last couple of posts have been about the internet's exciting way of keeping despair alive by ensuring that no won argument ever stays won, and no unwinnable argument ever goes away, because it provides fresh clueless to join the fray as fast as older hands disappear.

A very specialized form of internet argument is the endless kvetching about a Fandom issue. As a Star Wars fan, I have participated in many of these myself. Why, I daresay at once point I might myself have been clueless and posted crap about Star Wars. I'm sure it's dropped off the end of the internet now though. These posts have a finite lifespan, right? Right?

Most of my Star Wars obsessions centered around Darth Vader (Sithly good guy, before the revisionist prequels made him out to be a good guy, after which I was less interested), and Queen Amidala. See, most people could not see why such a strong character should eventually just, like, die of lack of will to live, while giving birth to twins who might have presented, y'know, some slight reason to live on a bit longer. (The dialogue makes it explicit that there's nothing physically wrong with her.) Whereas I found it perfectly reasonable that she should die at the same instant as her husband Anakin. The fact that he immediately took another breath as the newly-created Lord Vader didn't disprove that to me - in fact it added fuel to my belief. Clearly they died together, as is entirely appropriate in a sacred marriage of that kind.

Possibly Lord Vader did kill her, as his master Palpatine said. Perhaps he sucked the last drops of her will to live for his own needs.

It wasn't a popular viewpoint. The popular viewpoint was that she was a wimp. We had an argument about it. Most people thought Lucas sucked by making a strong female character into a wimp, and were very vocal about it.

An article in Jive Magazine was pointed out to me today, which reminded me how much everybody hated Star Wars, particularly Star Wars fans, who hate it more than any non-fan possibly could.

It begins:

Star Wars fans hate Star Wars.
The primary fulcrum for the Star Wars fan’s hate (including my own) is George Lucas, creator of Star Wars. Unlike Trekkies/Trekkers who adore Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, Star Wars fans hate the father of their obsession. We hate the fact that George Lucas got it wrong from the beginning, creating incest between Luke and Leia. We hate the fact that he wrenched Return of the Jedi off of Kashyyyk and set it on Endor with those tiny, furry Hobbit bitches he called “Ewoks”, which is a syllabic anagram of Wookiee if you’re obsessed enough. We despise the entire existence of literally half of the Star Wars movies, blaming George Lucas’ greed and flawed ‘vision’ for everything.
We believe George Lucas’ ideal death time was 2:07am, 14 November, 1990.

And it goes on from there, to detail exactly why we hate it so much. It inexplicably leaves out the bit about Queen Amidala being a wimp at the end, or indeed anything about how much female Star Wars fans hate George Lucas for not having any strong women characters in the movies (except Princess Leia, Queen Amidala, half the Jedi, Aunt Beru, Shmi Skywalker and Mon Mothma who don't count for reasons I've forgotten but are very important). Otherwise, it's a fun introduction to the topic of Star Wars hate by Star Wars fans.

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