Sunday, October 10, 2010


I went out to a scrapbooking supply sale today. No, I haven't lost my mind. A friend at work recommended the warehouse sale on the grounds that a bunch of stuff would be sold off below cost.

Now, I've never actually 'scrapbooked' as in made a scrapbook album according to the generally accepted rules. I've made an altered book, in which I've replaced references to, and pages of, forensic science with pictures and animations, texts and maps that relate to the Dead Weather's first album, Horehound, or to their first tour.

But making a good altered book depends on knowing what embellishments, tags and stamps are out there, so I went to this sale. I had a ball. The costs really were low, and there were grab-bags that promised "over $100 value - just $10", one of which I bought. As I was classifying it this evening, though, it occurred to me that 75% will be thrown out, leaving me with a bare positive margin. (Unless, of course, I can negotiate a s swap.) The backgrounds and alphabets and beads are beautiful, but there are the annoying other 'themes' I'll never use. "I do." "My mother's the best." "Under the Sea." "It's a Girl!"

I guess I'll put all those into the garage sale box. In the meantime this has taught me something. Not everyone is like me. In fact, most women in Orange County are thinking about kids, marriage and how great their parents and alma mater are.

My company, for reasons best known to it, in what is otherwise a belt-tightening time, chose to have the Senior Leadership Team, including me, assessed by a personality profile (so far so common) which they are then following up with a two-hour interview by a licensed psychotherapist in order to discuss the results. What am I going to say to this guy - paid for by my company, not me? Am I going to ask him for help and advice? I don't think so. He's a minion of my boss. I'm going to keep very quiet about health, stress, alcohol and all the other performance factors one might name. And hope he goes away.

And this is where the scrapbook sale came in useful. Now I know that the pages I habitually discard are the 'normal' ones, the ones I should emphasize. When Mr. oops I mean Dr. Psychotherapy gets on the line, I'm going to talk to him about marriage, how great my parents are, what a blessing infant boys (and girls) are and what I did at my High School Prom. (I didn't go to a High School Prom, but he may not know that.)

That was worth $35, wasn't it? And the backgrounds are actually useful.


Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

OMG! Gnarly, dude! Totally, for sure! (I was going for Orange County (like The OC on TV), but I may have hit San Bernadino by mistake.)
So, it's to be Laura Ingalls, Little House On The Praire. (The Waltons being too edgy, depression-era.) Crucifixes woven from corn, pressed flowers, embroidery.
I suggest another famous homemaker: Morticia Adams, but with an English accent. (Fenella Fielding in Carry On Screaming. Or Abby in NCIS, but classy. Goth for a day.)
Anyway. Remember the Voight-Kampff test in Blade Runner? Fake the empathy.

Malia said...

You could talk about following a band around the country and making new friends via teh internets! Those are all "normal" activities, no? We need one of our bands to tour so we can do it again.
p.s. I read all the LHOTP books, so if you want to go the way Mike suggests, I'll have tips for you.

Peromyscus said...

Mike, I'd expect there to be a million goth scrapbookers looking for bats and skulls and spooky trees. But nada at any sale I've been to. The common ones are overwhelmingly wedding, birth, sports victory and birthday.

So I have to do my own bats and skulls and spooky big loss. And thanks, I'll be thinking of Voight Kampff as he interviews me!

Peromyscus said...

You read all the LHOTP books? Well then, where is your LHOTP and vampires spin off? You could be a bestseller!


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