A Surrealist Alphabet

My dad used to recite this.



It's Clapham and Dwyer's A Surrealist Alphabet from 1934. It's a bit obscure in places (but probably wasn't when it was written, although I do have to wonder about Jaffa Oranges before the war - were they really that well known in England?).

Luckily Wikipedia has transcribed it for us:

A for 'orses (hay for horses)

B for mutton (beef or mutton)

C for 'th highlanders (Seaforth Highlanders)

D for 'ential (deferential)

E for Adam (Eve or Adam)

F for 'vescence (effervescence)

G for police (Chief of police)

H for respect (age for respect)

I for Novello (Ivor Novello)

J for oranges (Jaffa oranges)

K for 'ancis, (Kay Francis), or K for undressing

L for leather (Hell for leather)

M for 'sis (emphasis)

N for 'adig (in for a dig, or infradig)

O for the garden wall (over the garden wall)

P for a penny (pee for a penny)

Q for a song (cue for a song), or Q for billiards (cue for billiards)

R for mo' (half a mo')

S for you (it's for you)

T for two (tea for two)

U for films (UFA films)

V for La France (Vive La France)

W for a bob (double you for a bob)

X for breakfast (eggs for breakfast)

Y for Gawd's sake (why, for God's sake)

Z for breezes (zephyr breezes: see West wind)

Don't know why the YouTube uploader EMGColonel is so sniffy about it though; I thought it was funny. Mind you, I was about five when I first heard it. Took me years to find out what some of the words actually meant.

And as a chaser, here's the sadly missed Ian Dury reciting the Bus Driver's Prayer.