I Hate That question (short story, fiction)

 

I COME FROM, I wrote on the whiteboard.

"Okay, listen up. Today we're going to talk about where we come from. Everybody here comes from somewhere, right? So, let's ask each other, 'Where do you come from.' I'll start. Vasily, where do you come from?"

Vasily, who was streets ahead of some of the other ESL students, was always a good pick to start the class.

"I came from St. Petersburg," Vasily said, reading his jotted notes.

"Good. Were you born in St. Petersburg?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is St. Petersburg your hometown?"

"Yes, Ms. Hopwood."

"OK, then we use the present tense. 'I COME from St. Petersburg.' Where do you come from, Jorginho?"

"I come from Lisbon in Portugal."

"Good!" I wrote it on the whiteboard.

Vassily spoke up. "Why is it not 'came'?"

How do you answer that in words the students have already learned? Every native speaker knows that "I come from New York" means they were brought up there, or at least it's the place they think of as home. It means "this is the seat of my culture". If you say, "I came from New York" it means you've just arrived from there. "I am coming from New York" means you're in transit, and probably want to be picked up at the airport.

I started to explain but Jorginho interrupted. "Where are you from, Ms. Hopwood?"

"I'm from San Juan Capistrano," I answered.

He laughed. "No, where is you really come from?"

Man, I hate that question.