TEOTWAWKI again: We Got Five Years

...said David Bowie. Actually, we have only four and a half - the world, apparently, will end before 2012 is out.


One of the major end-the-world-in-2012 theories is Timewave Zero, which purports to produce mathematical evidence that there is a singularity at the end of 2012. A singularity is a point beyond which something cannot be known. It may foretell a physical catastrophe, or it may foretell a Rapture of the Nerds – or anything in between. Is it likely that this theory, which occupies pages of formulae and can be bought on a computer program, is predicting the end of the world as we know it?

Timewave Zero was proposed by Terence McKenna and Dennis McKenna in their book, "The Invisible Landscape". "Timewave Zero" is the McKenna brothers' way of representing the flow of "novelty" over time. The graphic representation is derived from the standard sequence of hexagrams of the I Ching in what is known as the King Wen sequence. At one point, the graph dives through the axis – this is presumed to be infinite 'novelty' – and ends. This is the end of history. It is not necessarily a violent or final end of humanity, but a point after which a discussion of changes in 'novelty' becomes useless.

Read the rest here. (Warning: Loooong.)

The End of the World As We Know It

TEOTWAWKI is planned for December 21, 2012.

Mick Farren has a piece in LA Citybeat called The Fat Lady's Aria? Humanity's Last Stand? Or Just Another Apocalypse Soon? explaining the date, summing up the arguments and talking a little bit about why people are so gosh darn keen on predicting the end of the world.

For the third time in less than 15 years, the End of the World draws near. It’s discussed in coffee shops and saloons, and texted from couches by punks of the New Age while UFO Hunters flickers unwatched on TV. Theories inundate the Internet and books are already in print. Although apocalyptic theorizing might seem a hard sell in these grim times, conferences are being staged, at least two major motion pictures are planned, and the collective consciousness wonders if the date 2012 is already copyrighted.

Read the rest at the link above.

Me, I stick with Mother Shipton.









Oh, it appears she said the world would end in 1881.

Well, she was usually right.

Oh, wait, the piece above (published in 1888) also contains a debunking, including the forger's name. Pity.

Telephone Blues

I'm no big fan of telephones – I can't stand 'em. I'm looking forward to the day when cellphones do something useful, because then I can get one and talk about calling plans with my friends and not feel left out. I too will be able to wag my finger at someone I'm with to shut them up while I answer a call from a complete stranger. I will be able to have the loudest ringtone - I'm thinking I'll buy "America - Fuck Yeah!" - for when I'm in a cinema. And when I'm in a bar with friends, I'll fiddle with the buttons and light up my chin with that eerie telephone glow. And take pictures of cute people of the relevant sex surreptitiously while pretending to call my broker at the gym.

For an instrument of communication, the telephone does seem to inspire a great deal of angst. Do you know any songs featuring telephones where the parties actually make contact? I can only think of songs where the parties are unable to connect.

Hanging on the Telephone – Blondie


I'm in the phone booth, it's the one across the hall
If you don't answer, I'll just ring it off the wall
I know he's there but I just had to call

Memphis, Tennessee – Chuck Berry



Help me, information, more than that I cannot add
Only that I miss her and all the fun we had
But we were pulled apart because her mom did not agree
And tore apart our happy home in Memphis Tennessee
Rikki Don't Lose That Number – Steely Dan



Rikki don't lose that number
You don't wanna call nobody else
Send it off in a letter to yourself

Operator – Jim Croce

Operator, oh could you help me place this call
You see the number on the matchbook is old and faded
She’s livin’ in L.A.
With my best old ex-friend ray
A guy she said she knew well and sometimes hated


The first verse of Operator has me sniffling every time - and I can't stand singer-songwriters.

I think the lack of communication is the key to the songs. The inability to connect makes for conflict and conflict is the soul of drama. That is, if you can get through the whole song without your cellphone ringing.

Clear Thinking

I can't claim I think clearly all the time, which is why it's important that other people do. One of us has to be the designated driver, or we'll end up going to hell in a handbasket.

Apparently normal people have told me the world is ending on December 21, 2012. Some people near where I live thought house prices would rise forever. A few years ago many bought tech stocks because it was "a new economy" and the prices would never fall. People who read newspapers and blogs are astonished that a writer could misrepresent someone's statement, use loose or incorrect grammar, use hyperbole or use weasel words.

At the other extreme, I read Usenet for many years. There, some folk (who were apparently not joking) would seize on a post and dissect every paragraph, sentence, clause and phrase endlessly, repeatedly, for days if not weeks, refusing or refuting any outside explanations or clarifications, either by the original poster or by any bystanders, expert or amateur, until the original post's meaning was as dead as a dissected, Formalinized body, and then proclaim, "See? You weren't right!"

There is a middle way. Here's a few books I recommend.

Books on my shelf I can recommend personally. Most have extensive previews on the web.

Title: Why People Believe Weird Things
By Michael Shermer

Fads & Fallacies in the Name of Science (The curious theories of modern pseudoscientists and the strange amusing and alarming cults that surround them. A study in human gullibility.)
By Martin Gardner

Kooks (A guide to the outer limits of human belief)
By Donna Fossy

Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds
By Charles Mackay

Ponzi Schemes, Invaders from Mars & More Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds
By Joseph Bulgatz
(Update of Mackay. Even more interesting but no preview on the web.)

Fakes, Frauds and Other Malarkey (301 Amazing Stories and How Not to be Fooled)
By Kathryn Lindskoog

How to Think About Weird Things (Critical Thinking for a New Age)
Theodore Schick, Jr. Lewis Vaughn

Spirit of Your Heart

Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones at the Mojo Awards. (Video)






Q: How are you going to persuade Robert to do a tour?
JP: I'm not going to persuade anybody to do anything. It's something...It's just like the 02.You come together with the spirit of the... of your heart, don't you, really? You either do it or you don't. Well, we did the O2. (Smile.)

Rumor Mills Redux

In Anatomy of an internet rumor, on June 12th, I discussed the blogosphere's illiterate reaction to a Daily Telegraph article on Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones, 1/2 of Led Zeppelin, playing live with the Foo Fighters on June 7th.

Speaking of Led Zeppelin, The Daily Telegraph mentioned "… their hugely successful reunion … at London's O2 centre in December." They went on to say, "In an interview after that concert, Page said the band were ready to reunite and perform more live events."

Obviously, the Daily Telegraph meant that Page was interviewed after the December concert, but edited it so badly that it appeared to mean he was interviewed after the recent (June 7th) Foo Fighters gig.

Blogs went blog wild over the rumor. For instance, Blabbermouth said, "According to Aislinn Simpson of UK's Telegraph, guitarist Jimmy Page stated in a brand new interview over the weekend that LED ZEPPELIN is ready to reunite and perform more live events."

Today, in an interview with BBC Radio 6 music, John Paul Jones said, "Nobody spoke to the Daily Telegraph after the Foo Fighters’ show, sorry Daily Telegraph."

Just thought I'd mention it.

Not that it will do any good regarding rumors. I mentioned the piece on a Led Zeppelin message board I'm on and one response was to quote the Telegraph article and contrast the wording of the BBC Radio 6 music article. The Telegraph said more "shows" were confirmed, you see, and BBC Radio 6 said that the prospect of "a tour" was being quashed. Perhaps "quashing tour rumors" is tantamount to "confirming show rumors"?

Well... no...?

Today's Glam Moment

No real reason; just some memories.

David Bowie's Gene Genie.



I vaguely recall being in Germany in 1972 when this was in the charts. Holidays in Germany were not quite as much fun for me as they were for my parents, whose 'appreciation' of wine, beer and brandy knew few bounds, but three things thrilled me about Germany:

Pop magazines! Featuring Suzi Quattro! And David Bowie!
Food! Russian eggs, marzipan pigs, Wiener schnitzel from the Schnell Imbiss
Horticulture! The fact that damson plums grew on trees lining the streets. Food did not grow on trees lining the streets where I grew up. I grew up in the dismal past described by The Four Yorkshiremen in Monty Python's famous sketch. And you thought it was fictional!

Gene Genie, of course, did not get to Number 1 in Britain. It was kept from the top spot by this little ditty.



That's the way the pop cookie crumbles, or something. Nobody sued anybody for plagiarism. They probably both stole it from these guys, who at least credited their source, the recently deceased Bo Diddley.

Wrongness, Bambi and Hubris

The Greeks had a word for this but I don't remember what it is. Hubris?

Two recent news stories in the LA Times about a pornography trial. The first one was headlined
Trial will see hours of hard-core fetish pornography and ran on June 8th 2008.

Ira Isaacs, a filmmaker whose films feature bestiality and defecation, says he has the right to produce art under the 1st amendment. The U.S. Department of Justice says the material is obscene.

For jurors to determine whether Isaacs' work is obscene, they will view hours of hard-core pornography so degrading that in one film, an actress cries throughout, prosecutors said in court papers. (LA Times)

So, a jury is going to have to watch hours and hours of his stuff to see if it has any literary, scientific or artistic value. Poor jury; I'm pro-pornography usually but from the verbal sketch of Ira Isaacs in the paper I think I'd be ready to strangle laughing boy after the first fifteen minutes. Anyway, justice and all that stuff. On with the porn show.

But wait, what's this paragraph?

His involvement in the case may be a stroke of luck for Isaacs. That is because Kozinski is seen as a staunch defender of free speech. When he learned that there were filters banning pornography and other materials from computers in the appeals court's Pasadena offices, he led a successful effort to have the filters removed."I did some rabble-rousing about it," Kozinski said in a brief interview last week. (LA Times)

The judge was angry over not being able to see porn in his office? Well, I thought, I can see that. We all have to do "research" on our cases. I know I do, though it usually involves insisting on having work access to sites with pictures of rock stars. Filters are a notoriously blunt instrument and block access to all kinds of legit sites.

An article, also in the LA Times, a few days later, cleared up any misconceptions I may have had over that paragraph. Its headline was Judge Alex Kozinski recuses himself from obscenity trial and it ran on June 14th 2008.

On Wednesday, Kozinski suspended the trial of Hollywood filmmaker Ira Isaacs to allow the prosecutor to explore what he saw as "a potential conflict of interest concerning the court having a . . . sexually explicit website with similar material to what is on trial here."
Many of the items on the website, some of which the judge said he received and sent via e-mail, are intended to be crudely humorous. Among other items were a photo of two nude women painted to look like cows, a video of an encounter between a half-dressed man and a sexually aroused farm animal, a striptease slide show featuring a transsexual, a series of photos of women's crotches in snug-fitting clothing or underwear and a step-by-step pictorial of a woman shaving her pubic hair. (LA Times)

Hahaha. Pwned, as they say these days. If he was emailing/uploading that kind of thing, I guess he really didn't want filters on his web access.

Looking at the list of crap allegedly on the judge's website, I do believe his story that this was "stored"material that had been "emailed" to him, some of which was "uploaded by accident".

People do, and I'm not being sarcastic here, email me stuff like this all the time. Email forwards are a pestilence, a sort of infection that you can't help getting and you almost can't help passing on. There's two major kinds, as far as I can see – the funny/sick/sexual kind and the recipes, prayers and 'aren't-men-stupid' kind. The first kind is usually just called "wrongness" and seems to be sent in the same spirit small boys encourage other small boys to eat worms. The second type is sent to encourage sisterhood, and goes by the name "Bambi Mail".

I guess the judge is more of a small boy than a sister.

PS Dear Judge, I have some great Wrongness forwards if you send me your email address.

Anatomy of an internet rumor.

Have you ever wondered what all the people who are on the internet ("teh intarwebs") are actually doing? I mean, you know that 85% of them are either watching pornography, downloading pornography or learning how to download pornography, but still, 15% of a lot is a lot. And they must be doing something.

What they are doing, in fact, is reading teh intarwebs, then posting their own version of what other people are saying. Or, cutting and pasting what other people are saying. This is not a bad thing in theory – the nature of the internet is to provide multiple routes to information, so that damage or outage doesn't affect the web itself. In practice, the habit can get a little weird. If someone's take on what they read is wrong, it's impossible to stamp out the wrongth. It will propagate for ever.

Here's an example, featuring my favorite examples, Led Zeppelin.

As you know, John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page appeared on stage with the Foo Fighters last Saturday, 7th June, at Wembley Stadium. The Daily Telegraph had a write up of that concert. They also had a reporter write up their appearance from the "Led Zeppelin reunion" angle. This second article, by Aislinn Simpson, was titled, "Led Zeppelin Guitarist joins Foo Fighters on stage at Wembley". You can read it in full at the Telegraph website.

The first four paragraphs described the appearance of Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones on stage and said in part, "Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page joined Foo Fighters onstage at Wembley Stadium this weekend - adding fuel to rumours that the veteran rockers may launch a world tour."

Below the fold, or the e-fold, whatever you call the bit below the ad on a website, three more paragraphs appeared.

It was the first time Led Zeppelin had appeared onstage since their hugely successful reunion concert in front of 22,000 fans at London's O2 centre in December.
In an interview after that concert, Page said the band were ready to reunite and perform more live events.
But he said that fans could have to wait until Autumn 2009 as band members had to tie up individual projects first.

The reporter is saying that Page was interviewed after the December concert and said the band were ready to perform more events. However, that's not what the blogosphere thought she said.

Undercover said, Speaking to the Telegraph after the Foo Fighters Wembley gig on the weekend, Page said that the band is ready to reunite and perform more live events.

Blabbermouth said, According to Aislinn Simpson of UK's Telegraph, guitarist Jimmy Page stated in a brand new interview over the weekend that LED ZEPPELIN is ready to reunite and perform more live events. But he said that fans could have to wait until autumn 2009 as band members had to tie up individual projects first.

Rolling Stone said, The Foo concert also provided Page a venue to field more questions about whether or not Zeppelin will reunite again for a full tour. Page, who has been in favor of a reunion tour since the onset, said the band is ready to play more shows. Unfortunately, the members of the band all have individual projects to tie up, Page added, so fans might have to wait until autumn 2009 before Zeppelin re-launches.

The NME said, …nothing of the sort (See, their headline says it *was* a reunion, so I suppose they didn't need to look forward to one.)

Steve Sauer, a respected and reasonable Zeppelin historian, said, "Another recent development … is a statement attributed to Page in an interview conducted just after the Wembley Stadium encore. He is reported to have told Telegraph reporter Aislinn Simpson that the group is ready to play shows again and to look for a tour in the second half of next year."


Undercover's only source is The Telegraph, exact wording above. Blabbermouth's only source is the Telegraph, and they link to the exact wording. Rolling Stone link to Blabbermouth's article quoted above, which links to the Telegraph article. The NME got away without rumor for once, even if they did get a bit excited. And Steve Sauer, an internet reporter, is the only one out of all of these to label his sources properly. His "a statement attributed to Page…he is reported to have told Telegraph that…" is absolutely true.

Think about it. If you'd just conducted an exclusive interview with Jimmy Page on the reunion of Led Zeppelin (last seen in December on top of a pile of (reportedly) twenty million applications for 135 pound tickets), would you call the article "X joins Y on stage", with the body text "X joins Y on stage, adding fuel to rumours"? Wouldn't you call it "Exclusive: Jimmy Page reveals world tour plans"? Would you place the exclusive as the next-to-last paragraph of a blurb about the Foo Fighters?

Why, it sounds like a bad fanfic.

Note: I did write to the Daily Telegraph, following the guidelines on the website, asking for clarification. The email generated an auto-response that told me to snail-mail the question instead. I'm in the US and I can't wait for 14 to 20 days to hear what Ms. Simpson had to say for herself, so I have run with this without her input.

Trackback for this entry: heavymetalmusicbiz

Update: June 18th. In an interview with BBC Radio 6 music, John Paul Jones said, "Nobody spoke to the Daily Telegraph after the Foo Fighters’ show, sorry Daily Telegraph."

Update post in full here.

Ainslee's Story

Here's a fan fiction satire what I wrote. It's based on this news article by Aislinn Simpson. However, it's made up, like most things people write about this article. That is to say, this did not happen.

Explanation next post.

***


Ainslee flipped her raven lochs behind her hears and smiled at her editor with her violet eyes.

"So, Hugh," she batted her eyes, "I went to the Foo Fighters concert like what music editor Kevin Bond asked of me, and guess what! I met Jimmy Page and got an Exclusive with him."

"Who?" said her Editor, lighting his pipe with a lighter. He hated Kevin Bond! But had to put up with him because he was the owner's friend.

"The guitarist they called on stage at the end."

"Didja?" said her editor, smoking his pipe in a bored way.

"Yes. He's like a megastar and stuff but he's really down to earth and stuff."

"Huh," he answered, his words appearing in a pouf of smock.

"Anyway, he told me Led Zepplin was reforming in 2009."

"Did he, huh?" said Hugh, disinterestedly.

"Yeah, and I wasn't sure if I should mention it in the paper."

"No."

She giggled artlessly, wide violet eyes pleating at the masterful editor before her. "I thought, maybe there's an angle there. If I could just pitch it right, there could be some interest. I mean, in 2007 Led Zeppellin has reformed once before already and apparently twenty million people applied for tickets worth over a hundred pounds each."

He starred at her like she was a rat in his kichen.

She tossed her lox gaily and smiled at the crusty but benign newspaperman to who she owed her proffesionnal carer. He was a touhg cooky! "I thought maybe the paper could just mention it once, maybe on like, nine or page fifteen, it is a exclusive. No won else got near Jimy Page."

He gave her a forbidden look, golwering under his highbrows at the junior reporter all keen and stuff, and young and full of live.

"No," he said with fine alty.

"Well, I was of two mined about it," she admitted. "I thought may be some interrest. But I was all yeah but no but yeah about it myself. Thank you for your advice, Sir Huge."

"You mark my words," barked Hug loudly in her rear, "All this long hair crap is a fad. Bloody youngsters like bloody Mick bloody Jagger and their bloody knight bloody hoods. I won't have the Daily Torygraph pandering to the little poofters and their bloody guitars. You hear me? Spike the damn story. And let's hear no more of these Huns and their barrage balloons!"

Ainslee backed out of Sir Huges orifice thinking deaply. Hugh was write, of course. But she dreamily thought of Jimy Page and his dreamy hair and welcoming smile speaking volumes to her, like a sunny day on a sunny beach, not too hot and not too windy, but just right, with no flies. Something about the twinkie in his eyes she found quite erratic, of only she'd dared admit to herself.

She thought, "I will get Mr. Pages message out to the world! He relying on on me to spread the world about the re-onion. But how shall I do it without Hguh finding out and sacking me?" Her violet eyes with their wonderful eyelashes, brimmed with tiers, but then lit up in her creamy face as she had a great idea. She began to type up her report on the Foo Fighters – and hid the exclusive deep within it's journalistic depths!

It was the first time Led Zeppelin had appeared onstage since their hugely successful reunion concert in front of 22,000 fans at London's O2 centre in December.
In an interview after that concert, Page said the band were ready to reunite and perform more live events.

A sly smile lit up her shy face. Jimmy wood be so pleased with her. She dreamed of how he wold reward her for her boldness in standing up to sir Hugh.

End... or is it?

Foo Fighters, Page and Jones: More video coming online

Foo Fighters with John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page, Wembley, 7th June 2008
Foo Fighters, with Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones at Wembley Stadium, June 7th 2008.

These YouTube links will probably age and break quickly, but for this morning we have:

Rock and Roll, distant but good sound:


Ramble On, distant but good sound:


Rock and Roll, distant:


Rock and Roll, close, some good Page moments:



Ramble On
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UkYjxdnOpU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5riAflWMeSk

Rock and Roll
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdiUAwTZMTc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdiUAwTZMTc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OQnk10w2yY

Ramble On - Foo Fighters with JPJ and Jimmy Page

Ramble On, Wembley, June 7th 2008. Foo Fighters with John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page.

Thanks to uploader JodhiD.



Update: More videos now online.

Foo Fighters, with Jimmy Page and JPJ at Wembley

It was one of those internet rumors that came true. Made Dave Grohl's day, and made mine too. John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page joined the Foo Fighters for their encore at Wembley on Saturday, 7th June.

They played Rock & Roll and Ramble On.

Rock & Roll was pretty fiery stuff, and bodes well for some more gigs down the line. It was genuinely wonderful to see Page on stage again. (JPJ has been playing regularly, so it's not so much of a surprise - and it was very welcome to see him here tonight as well.)

Alas, only Rock&Roll is on YouTube at the moment. Perhaps more will be uploaded later. Big thanks to the uploader Solamore - smooch! (Update: Ramble On now on YouTube too. Update 2: More videos.)



Yes, a wonderful day for Led Zeppelin fans.

Write up in the NME here.

What it is ain't exactly clear - 1968

It's summer, 2008. Time to celebrate the anniversary of the Summer of Unrest [1].

1968 was the Year of International Struggle, a time when many people, not all of them tripping, genuinely thought that changes could be made to the way the world was run. I leave it as an exercise to the reader to decide if it was successful.

By now most Americans have had it hammered into them (again) that 1968 was when Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King were shot - in America, and when the [mumble] Vietnamese launched the Tet Offensive - against Americans. It's an odd world, in that 40 years on, that's all the media is prepared to say about it, when it was such a momentous year for the rest of the world.

I don't propose to go into it in detail but there's a short chronology here that you can absorb in a few minutes. Poland exploded; a demonstration in London outside the US Embassy turned violent indeed; France fireballed; the Russians invaded Czechoslovakia, who had been showing their mettle. It was quite a year. They haven't made them that way in quite a while.

I can remember that wave of student riots – very vaguely, but very strongly. The feeling that something was happening, something was building, something was going to change. (And then all of a sudden it didn't and the hippies sang about gnomes and started building the Virgin Empire instead.) There are songs about how something was in the air, too, and those songs, dear reader, are on the web.

I looked up Buffalo Springfield's song Something's Happening Here (it's apparently really called "For What It's Worth") because it perfectly matches my feeling about 1968, and was surprised to see it was written in 1966, about a local student riot.

There's battle lines being drawn
I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down



That spirit was just rising and rising. It was still there in 1969 when Thunderclap Newman's Something In The Air went to number 1 in England.

Lock up the streets and houses
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here



In 1968, even the Stones did Street Fighting Man, but this time, the lyrics are about a rock band giving up and saying there's nothing they could do except sing.

Ev'rywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
Well then what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band



Next year they were releasing butterflies in Hyde Park.



It must have been all that LSD.

[1]Celebrate the memory, that is unless you're my favorite writer Meghan Daum, in which case it's time to piss on 1968's memory out of some vague (and rather belated – is she slow?) spirit of anti-'rent rebellion.

Gecko Feet

Knowing my strange yet heartfelt obsessions, a friend sent me an article with a picture of a gecko's foot.

Gecko pads are made of hairs that are divided and subdivided and then subdivided again, so the end of the hair has been described as looking like broccoli. The result is a bunch of hair so fine that the attraction between it and say, a plate of glass, is based on Van der Waal's forces. These are electrical charges that only come into effect when two surfaces are infinitesimally close to each other. Although they only operate at these short distances they are very strong, so something small enough to take advantage of them can support a lot of weight. Gecko feet are uniquely built by these subdivisions to provide a lot of flat pads at the end for maximimum stick, and yet be thick enough in the hairs, bundles and plates that make up the pads to have strength that will support the animal. The result is a creature which can walk up vertical glass.

The "broccoli" description doesn't do it justice. The picture is from the University of Kwazulu-Natal's alumnus newsletter.



The photo, by Tony Bruton and Vijay Bandu, won a prize in the university's Science Close-Up category.

One interesting effect of this arrangement is seen when a gecko is trying to be stealthy. Instead of tiptoeing on the tips of its toes, it curls its toes into the air, away from the surface and creeps by plunking along on the flats of its feet.