Non-consensual

Usually when I'm on a trip, I'm by myself, so I have time to write down what I'm seeing and hearing. This time I'm with a friend, so I've been talking instead. I'm taking a break and she's taking a swim, so I have time to catch up on writing about Vegas, and Them Crooked Vultures.

We arrived in Las Vegas on Friday, and spent most of the evening gorging - I think that's the right word - gorging on the all you can eat buffet at the Bellagio. Not the Wynn - we're going to the Wynn tomorrow morning. The buffet was an astonishing $36 a head so in order to get my money's worth I mostly ate fish, mostly raw, in industrial quantities. Oh and four desserts.

Saturday morning started off nice with breakfast at a Cuban restaurant I've been to before, down at the Elvis Wedding Chapel end of the strip. It's called the Florida Cafe. Mmmm Cuban breakfast. Very nice, full of sweet fried plantain, and I supplemented it with a tasty tamal. Later we went to Nobu and ate a further ketch-full of raw fish. Nobu came highly recommended i.e. Ross Halfin talks in his diary about eating there with Jimmy Page, so we had to try it, and it lived up to expectations.

We are here to do more than mow our way through hundreds of pounds of food though, so the next stop was the Hard Rock to see Them Crooked Vultures. They rocked - of course, like Nobu they are a sure thing. I wasn't particularly familiar with the songs as the CD left me cold, but TCV are hardly a sing-along feel-good band, so that didn't matter.

Bellagio

In fact, last night I managed to work out why they rock, and why the CD left me cold. They have a Zeppelinesque quality, and it's not just because John Paul Jones is their bassist. It's because they have that overwhelming access to power and control that Zeppelin used to have. Since TCV is without a Robert Plant hippy-type to ameliorate their Dom tendencies, they are harder and heavier than Zeppelin in that respect. They just stand (or sit on their drum stool) there and flex tens of thousands of Watts, tens of thousands of hours of mastery of their instruments, and yards of clever-dick lyrics, and wield absolute command over everybody and everything in front of them.

When I was young and just getting into Led Zeppelin, this was an awesome stance to take. I really just wanted someone to force me to the floor and give it to me, and Led Zeppelin certainly did that. Now I prefer, you know, roses and chocolate or something first...maybe a dinner...sushi dinner...mm fish...OK get back on topic... right, I prefer a little negotiation, and then getting forced to the floor and given it. I think I get that combination with the Dead Weather (though I think the roses would be artfully arranged in the eyesockets of a grinning paper skull with that band) which is why I like them and don't like say, the Fleet Foxes or Bon Iver or all the tragic indie folkies, who would be all sushi dinners (stay on track now) and no happy ending.

Them Crooked Vultures are entirely about that controlled violence. It comes over much better live (for me anyway) because you can actually see them doing it, see them physically putting out that level of discipline and can watch the crowd metaphorically forced to its knees before them. It lets you know it's not some knob-twiddler in the studio pressing some "add dominance" button in Pro Tools. It was fun to see and hear that sort of music again and a good time was had by all.

In the taxi line outside we were behind someone who looked like Dave Grohl. Someone behind me shouted out, "Hey, you look like Dave Grohl! Oh, you aren't. Well, it would be much cooler if you were Dave Grohl!".

I felt very sorry for the guy, who I'm sure is pretty cool as whoever he is, and really didn't need to be told by some stranger that he wasn't.

We got back to our little timeshare, and, the fish having worn off, made a midnight run to Albertsons where we got a discounted rotisserie chicken ($3) and more vodka.

My cellphone photos of the show look like cellphone photos, so I won't bother. Instead here's a picture of the hotel called Paris. See, it has an Eiffel Tower!



And inside Paris, everything looks like Paris, with Boulangeries and Patisseries and things. We ate at the Creperie, which was totally crepe. More like British pancakes than crepes and the filling had been micro-miniaturized to vanishing point. Also we had to wait 15 minutes because they only had two griddles.

But that's not all! Inside Paris, two of the legs of the Eiffel Tower come down inside the hotel. And the hotel ceiling is painted as the Paris sky. So it looks like this.



Isn't that weird? I'd know if I were living in the Truman Show or something, because there'd be things like that left around that didn't look quite right.

Road Trip part II

Having had insufficient entertainment at the TUO-N-NI, I then stopped in Baker, Gateway to Death Valley, to see the World's Largest Outdoor Thermometer and take a picture of my new car, Hyundai Hyundai, on its first road trip, sitting outside the Big Bun Motel, which is next to a Bob's Big Boy. No, I didn't eat a Bob's Big Boy Burger as well.

Road Trip

On the way to Las Vegas to see Them Crooked Vultures and The Dead Weather. Stopped in an eatery in festive downtown Hesperia, the aptly named TUO-N-NI for a Double Double, hold the cheese.



Mighty tasty it was too.

Cars and girls

American pop is obsessed with cars and girls. It always has been, and you can tell the cars from the girls.



She's ported and relieved
And she's stroked and bored
She'll do a hundred and forty at the top end floored.

That's a car.



When I mash down on your little starter
Your spark gonna give me fire.

That's about a girl.

But when it comes to British bands,



Groovin' on the freeway, gauge is on the red
gun down on my gasoline, believe I'm gonna crack your head

I have no clue. Is that a car or a girl?

(Hell of a performance, though.)

Braver than I am - or you are

Today is the anniversary of Apollo 13 running into trouble. That was forty years ago, in April 1970. On the way to the moon, a fault in the electrical system caused one of the Service Module's oxygen tanks to rupture. The crew had to abandon the Command Module and live in the Lunar Module during its completely out-of-spec trip back to Earth.

Heat, water and scrubbers for carbon dioxide were in critically short supply. But these men, who were half way to another planet, managed to make do for a journey back to Earth. Their computer system was about the level of one of today's BlackBerrys. To supplement its output, they took manual readings of their position using navigator's instruments from the 1700s as their course changed (knocked off course by the venting oxygen tank) and calculated their trajectory on paper. Against all odds, they made it back to a safe landing.

I can remember watching this with my heart in my mouth. I knew they could get back to Earth - it's pretty big - but I didn't think they'd get the trajectory right and splash down without burning up. They did, though.

The quote that came out of all that was, "Houston, we have a problem."

I love manned space exploration. I know many others disagree, since robots can do much more and see much more without requiring life support. But I want to go, and I want others to go and tell me what it's like. And I salute heroes like the crew of Apollo 13.

Jimmy Page photo autobiography

Even though I was pre-registered, it turns out I was too late to purchase the limited edition. But what I can tell you is my $600 guess was way off. It was offered at £695. That's over a thousand dollars!

Anyway, I've ordered the cheap edition - £395. It's my experience these things never go down in value, assuming you have enough float to pay for them upfront. Or so I'm hoping.

If you'd like what is likely to be the only Jimmy Page self-selected history, albeit in pictures rather than text, contact Genesis.

Edit to add: Youdopia points out that Jimmy Page released the book on the anniversary of Aleister Crowley writing The Book of the Law. Ha ha ha ha!

So good to me

Here's the Mamas & the Papas with their tuneful ode to my new car, Hyundai Hyundai.



Hm, I've never actually listened to the words. Could be a diss. Still, very easy on the ears. As is my new car.

Ham sandwiches all round!

And while we're at it, here's the Dead Weather's Die By the Drop video that caused so much angst the other day. We all have it now and I'm sure we all wonder what the fuss was about.



Edit: scratch the paragraph below. I'm told this only plays in America. FFS, record companies, why don't you make things available if you want people to buy your stuff? If you're outside the US, try this copy here: http://vimeo.com/10741404

This is the official one from the official site, so no DMCAs please. (Although, as it happens, Third Man Records, I have a pirate site I'd like to report to you for something. Feel free to give me your 1-800-WE-TIP address so I can get that off my chest.)

Actually I've moved on from the A side, DBTD, to the B side, Old Mary. It starts with a parody of the Hail Mary, then goes on to...something else. Something Dead Weatherish. it's hard to claim that any band in 2010 could be forging new ground, but the Dead Weather are certainly finding new slants on the old angles, as hustlers used to say. (And probably stopped saying around 1955, but I still remember reading it as a youth.)

Or is it "the Dead Weather is forging new ground"? I'll never get used to American plurals for groups.

Photoautobiography of Jimmy Page

As you no doubt know, a deluxe photoautobiography of Jimmy Page is coming out soon. Limited Edition, with an unknown price tag, but if it is similar to the other Genesis luxury le's out there, $600 would not be be a bad guess.

This, on the Les Paul Forum, is one fan's story of how he submitted his previously unseen 1977 photos of Led Zeppelin to Ross Halfin for the book and is likely to see them published.

(Edit: Link to the story taken down at Drew Stawin's request in order to keep control of his story. The story is still viewable at the Les Paul forum, http://www.lespaulforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166941)

Obviously Drew Stawin is not able to show his best photos as they are now awaiting their first publication, but he put several others in the thread. Loved this one, which shows Jimmy Page's roadie wearing a Rorer 714 t shirt. Is he wearing Jimmy's shirt from the 1977 rehearsals? Or was Jimmy wearing the roadie's t shirt at the rehearsals? Or did everybody have them in 1977?

(Edit: Photo taken down at Drew Stawin's request.)

Jimmy in the shirt

Gotta love Jimmy, who looked fabulous in almost any clothes. Rorer 714, as you may know, is the marking on the pills known as Quaaludes in the US and Mandrax in the UK. That's the (legal at the time) drug that contributed to the death of much missed Paul Kossoff and thoroughly screwed up many, many more rock and roll lives. And Jimmy probably wasn't even being ironic...

Edit to add: None of Drew Stawin's photos made it into the book, but some are still available at the links above.

The Dirtbombs

From the mighty Powerpop blog, I learn of the Dirtbombs' awesome No Expectations.



It's a game-changing version of the Rolling Stones' No Expectations. It includes a nod to Lust For Life. And Sympathy for the Devil. And for fuck's sake, Hey Jude.

This is an incredible track that makes me want to own the Dirtbombs catalog. Fuck me, how great can one track be? It's not a mash-up, it's a band actually playing the tracks live as a pastiche. Awesome.

Tyrannosaurus rex tracks.

Over at Doc 40 listening to Tyrannosaurus rex: a beautiful band.

Here's Beard of Stars/Once Upon the Seas of Abyssinia.



Cool.

Back to The Dead Weather

Back to my favorite group.

Dead Weather photos in Melbourne.



Sixty Feet Tall




TMYLM



Cut like a Buffalo





Another Rocking Horse.

Bye, car!

Last week I had to say goodbye to my Oldsmobile Intrigue. She'd been with me since 1998. Not the most reliable of cars, I'd bought her because she was the color, make and model of car driven by Fox Mulder in the X-Files film of that year, Fight the Future. I was a big X-Files fan. Very, very big X-Files fan.



Her registration came due recently, so I took her in for a pre-smog check oil change and filter. The OC&F was $29.95, but the multi-point check came back with a quote for fixing the coolant system: $1850. Since the system had never actually overheated - at least, not in the last decade or so - I was a little skeptical, but they insisted. "I need to go to Las Vegas to see the Dead Weather next month," I said. The dealership assistant shook her head.

Sbs passed the smog check with flying colors, and still wasn't showing the slightest sign of a coolant leak, but yesterday I bought a 2011 Hyundai Sonata LE. It has all the features the Olds had, and in almost all cases, in exactly the same place. It's like sliding into a slighter bigger version of Sbs - but with XM radio, mp3 player capability (Sbs had an adaptor via the cassette deck, of all things), moonroof and a silly but fun way of opening the door, which is to recognize you when you approach so you don't need to get the keys out of your pocket. (It also starts with a push-button, so you still don't need to get your keys out of your pocket. The drawback is that, of course, you have already taken the keys out of your pocket by force of habit, so you drop them in the cupholder for lack on anywhere else to stick them. This means that the keys are no longer in your pocket when you leave the car. The salesman intimated that the car is clever enough not to lock you out under these circumstances, but I don't necessarily want to have to find out the hard way.)

It drives very well, with its silent engine and decent handling. It doesn't have quite the oomph the six-cylinder Intrigue did, but it seems capable of accelerating if needed.

It came with a free (actually $30 non-optional extra) iPod cable! But iDon't have an iPod!

Oh, and it doesn't have a cargo net. Sbs had a lovely cargo net. Grr.

Earthquake!

Huge earthquake in Baja California about fifteen minutes ago. Estimated to be magnitude 7.2. It got to us in SJC about the time a friend of mine in San Diego phoned to say it was coming. Although it wasn't particularly violent, it lasted for at least twenty seconds and frankly felt as though the house was on the back of a camel - that same lurching-forward motion. Everything rattled but I don't think the house moved on the foundations. I really hope not.

The rolling motion lasted long enough to build up to big waves in the pool - the water sloshed out on both sides and knocked the cleaning hatch off from underneath.









(Edited now magnitude is known.)

Denizens of the deep cont.

Not an octopus this time. This is the underwater giant woodlouse, or roly-poly or pillbug. It looks too big to roll or pill like the little ones. Generally I don't mind crustaceans - it's insects I don't like, but this is quite a disconcerting one. Luckily it lives at the bottom of very deep water, so our paths are unlikely to cross.



Apparently they eat dead whales and squid. (The ones in my garden eat my compost heap.) They're isopods (their legs are all similar), and they have a lung structure that means they can live on land (as long as they can keep themselves damp) or underwater. The underwater ones are called Bathynomus giganteus and there's a photo of an even bigger one here.

A relative is the disgusting Cymothoa exigua, an underwater louse that eats the tongue of fish, and then, in a sort of fair-dos exchange, lives in its mouth and performs the actions of the missing tongue (and grabbing the occasional tidbit). When I first saw this, it made me wonder about other possible organ-replacing parasites as a science fiction plot idea. If you could persuade something with good pumping power to replace a failing human heart in exchange for the free sugar and nutrients in the blood, for instance. What type of society would those parasites build? (Parasites are often solitary and sometimes hermaphrodite, not even needing others of the same species to reproduce. But that wouldn't be as good in a story as something that needed to find others of its kind to mate with.)

Picture here at Animal Planet.

Forever Geek

I missed one sound. But I can tell astromechs from medi-droids and Tteel Kkak from Poggle the Lesser by five second sound clip alone. I'm proud of myself.

The quiz is on boing boing, here.